The pressure to date is everywhere, from social media posts to friends and family asking if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Although most people mean well, it can be frustrating, especially if you feel like you’re not ready for a relationship.
When this happens, you may feel like maybe you should join the couples crowd. But doing it unprepared can harm your mental health.
Being in a relationship won’t make you happy forever
Romantic movies and books are known for their perfect happy endings where the two lovers go off into the sunset and never have any problems. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Every couple will argue and have bad days. You won’t always feel happy when you’re with them. Sometimes you’ll want to kick them in the tail because they drive you so crazy. If you enter with only the illusions of perfect love, you will be heartbroken.
Love is a choice. On days when it’s hard to be with them, you have to choose to love them and be with them or your relationship will fall apart.
There’s no timeline to find the one
People fall in love at any age. Some people meet “the one” at the age of five, others don’t meet their true love until the age of 65. Because everyone’s love story is different, you can’t expect to meet Mr. or Mrs. right next door. some time in your life.
Your love story will be unique and beautiful, you may just have to wait a bit for it to be written.
Casual encounters don’t exist
Casual encounters do not exist; either you are in a relationship or you are not. Hollywood has circulated the lie that you can date, but not be in a relationship. Even if you don’t define it as a relationship, an emotional attachment begins to form. Once that happens, whether you like it or not, you’re in a relationship.
You might end up with the wrong person
Regret is a powerful force.
If you feel like you have to date someone, there isn’t always a lot of thought given to choosing who you date. Although he’s nice, he may even be attractive to you, but if you don’t like him, you’re just wasting your time.
Now, if someone comes along that you really like, getting out of your current relationship won’t be easy. Then comes the dilemma of moving or staying with your current boyfriend or girlfriend. It creates so much heartache and makes it hard for you to trust and for others to trust you.
You can’t please everyone
As much as we would like, it is impossible to please everyone and make them happy. It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone is happy, you can only make sure you’re happy.
If you are happier being single, share it with the people around you. Let them know that you appreciate their help and opinions, but that you’re not comfortable being in a relationship right now.
Only you know what’s best for you
No one else can decide when you’re ready for a relationship. The people who love you can give you advice, but in the end, only you can judge.
If you constantly feel pressured to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, talk to someone you trust and figure out how to go about it. This might include making a list of reasons you don’t feel ready or deciding how to approach dating conversations.
Love is not like in the movies
In the movies, a boy meets a girl, and in the end they are completely and utterly in love. While love is a powerful force, love does not happen by accident. Love takes time to grow in the hearts of two people.
Love isn’t just about flirting, holding hands, and having butterflies in your stomach when they’re around. You need to be able to go through life with them knowing that they will be there for you no matter what.
One day you will be ready
Even if it doesn’t seem like it now, one day you will be ready to be in a relationship. It might only take a few months or a year or two until you’re ready.
Don’t try to force yourself to be ready, rather let the preparation come on its own. One day you will be ready to be in a relationship. When you’re ready, you’ll meet someone who’s right for you.
How to know if you are ready to date:
1. The idea of being in a relationship doesn’t scare you
Fear kills a budding relationship faster than you can say “oops!” One of the most important parts of being ready for a relationship is that the thought of being in a real relationship doesn’t scare you. In fact, it sounds like a new adventure waiting to happen.
2. You are in the right place in life.
Trying to start a new relationship when everything is crazy is so hard. Trying to divide your focus between the two will make it difficult to focus on either life event.
That’s why it’s so important not to try to develop a fledgling relationship when you have so many other priorities in your life. Instead, wait until your life isn’t so hectic to seek out a new relationship, so you can give the person the attention they deserve.
3. There is room in your heart for another person.
It might sound a little corny, but everyone you love has a special place in your heart. When you are ready for a relationship, there will be enough room to add another person.
Relationships are complicated and messy, but they are also wonderful and beautiful. Just because you’re not in a now doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. And just because you don’t want a relationship now doesn’t mean you won’t later. It just takes time.