This original Roald Dahl quote is my new beauty philosophy because despite all the physical insecurities people may have about themselves, it’s the inner goodness that shines, inside and out. Sure, an attractive face and a fit body may catch our attention, but it’s a show of self-confidence that makes people want to stay longer.
However, while some people have natural flair, others have to shed blood, sweat and tears to feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Frizzy hair. Acne scars. Chubby sides. Metal straps. Thick glasses. I had the lowest self-esteem and for years was unable to look people in the eye, have casual conversations or go to the grocery store without staring at the mirror for hours. Surrounded by other fair-skinned, socially thriving teenagers, I felt like I had drawn an unlucky hand in life.
But life is too short to arrange for 24/7 pity. Today I learned to love who I am, and all my physical imperfections are like facets on a diamond; they make me look and feel beautifully unique.
While a little makeup and a killer outfit can make you feel like a queen, learning to love yourself and spreading that positivity to everyone you meet makes you fit to wear the crown.
Here are 5 tips to help you become more confident:
1. Imagine your future
My discomfort within myself caused me to avoid social situations. That changed when I became a student journalist and had to interview guest speakers and interact with the local community. Ironically, expressing myself vocally has made me more physically comfortable.
Identify your insecurity and attack it head on. For me, it’s like a game show challenge where I put myself in situations outside of my comfort zone, like inventing free hangouts, conversing with strangers, or ordering takeout on my own. It sounds pretty basic, but for me, these everyday occurrences can be anxiety-inducing until I get over them.
Anxiety attacks and self-consciousness can hold you back, but always look to a future where you are socially fulfilled, blissfully happy, and 100% yourself. Create a mood board for yourself and fill it with what makes you happy. Whether it’s Labrador puppies, a nostalgic memory, or your favorite artist, that feeling of happiness these images give you is exactly what you should recreate when you look at yourself. In the end, I hope you put your favorite picture of yourself in the center of the board!
2. Post-its for body positivity
When I walked into the try-on room of Aerie, a loungewear and lingerie store, one of the mirrors was covered in hundreds of post-its with body positivity quotes and compliments from customers over and over. years. “You are beautiful”, “Kill, my sister!” and “Perfect in My Eyes” were some of the posts I had to sit down to read with tears in my eyes, feeling so loved in the moment.
At my high school, students would randomly place messages of support on bathroom mirrors and lockers, instantly bringing a smile to the recipients’ faces. Do the same on your own mirrors by writing yourself words of love with your favorite quotes. As a result, the first thing you feel before you look at yourself is a healthy dose of positivity that will influence how you view yourself afterwards.
3) Team goals
There’s no better hype than the support I got from my girl gang to appreciate my curves. As a group, we come in all shapes and sizes, which has made us more tolerant and supportive despite all the bumps in the road each of us has experienced during our hot and cold loves with our bodies. We are sincere in our compliments and honest in our constructive criticism of each other. I’ve never had more confidence in myself than when I’m with my friends, laughing out loud and dancing in public. Find yourself a group of people who love you because you are your authentic self, no matter how quiet or loud your personality may be. Your team should be there to sweep away any lingering insecurities, allow you to embrace your sexuality, and make you more confident, with or without them.
4) Give yourself some attention
During lockdown, I’ve learned to show myself some love through facials, nail spa sessions, and healthy eating habits. I’m a big fan of Vogue’s YouTube series called “Beauty Secrets” which I watch while doing my own beauty routine every morning. Months without makeup has given my skin enough time to breathe and rejuvenate, and although I have had a few days of disastrous breakouts, I love my current look of fresh, clear skin.
Take advantage of this time to take care of yourself and take care of yourself. Whether it’s retreats in the bathtub with candles or movie nights in bed, treat yourself to some pampering during these stressful times. It might be a long stretch of couch potato for some, but don’t forget to use the free time to work on your body through exercise, whether it’s pilates in bed, morning yoga or intense workouts. I would recommend Alexis Ren’s 4-week “At Home Workout Challenge” on her website, which has shown incredible fitness results.
My experience of overcoming my physical insecurities still sometimes haunts me, as a negative self-perception is purely psychological. It was an emotionally draining time, and now, years later, I still enjoy revisiting the past with my mom or close friends. When I talk about those middle school and early high school years, I feel a sense of pride in my strength and character growth and in all that I’ve accomplished since then. Find someone to confide in, whether it’s a trusted friend, family member or therapist/counsellor, because you’ll never have to go through the hardest times alone. dark.
I wish you luck on your personal journey to empowerment, and just know that while you may not have full confidence in yourself yet, I have every confidence in the world that you will achieve realization. self !