You are browsing Instagram and this handsome guy or beautiful girl catches your eye. You click on their profile and can’t help but develop a crush that leads you to cyberstalk that person for a week, hiding your feelings behind likes and comments.
You eventually work up the courage to pull your shot by slipping into their DMs. But there is a problem. You don’t know what to say and end up sending a “hey” with a smiling emoji.
Sneaking into someone’s DMs with a simple “hey” is not only overrated and annoying, but it rarely gets anyone’s attention.
But what to say so as not to appear embarrassing or cringe?
Sneaking into someone’s DMs is definitely a terrifying task, especially if it’s a complete stranger, because you have this fear of embarrassing yourself and ruining the image that he has you. This fear could cause you to not know what to say when you strike up a conversation with them for the first time. What’s the best way to start the conversation? Will they think you’re weird or scary? (Answer: probably not.)
Starting a conversation on social media is a quick and easy way to meet new people. It also saves you the embarrassment of tripping over your words in front of your crush. So if you’ve wanted to DM someone for a long time but don’t know how, here’s how to swipe someone’s DM.
1. Retouch your social networks
First, your profile. It’s the first thing someone looks at once they receive a DM from you. When you’re about to DM someone, make sure you have a solid profile picture and some great photos at the top of your grid.
If you really want to make an impression, dress up in your worst outfit and do a mini photo shoot for your Instagram.
PS Take a look at your tagged photos. This is where all the really embarrassing ones hide and where most people look first.
2. Follow them
So, once you’ve touched up your profile, the next step is to follow your bae-to-be. If the person you’re interested in isn’t following you, the chances of them responding to your DM are slim to none. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. You can still slip, but the weird factor increases. And the last thing you want to introduce yourself is scary, right?
3. Play the numbers
Once you’ve followed that person, take a look at their follower count. If they are in the 500K-3M range, then you:
- Better to be a famous influencer or some kind of celebrity.
- I met them somewhere, and you vibrated.
- Have a mutual friend.
I say this because you are probably 1 in 10,0000 people who slip through their DMs and they probably don’t go through every DM in their inbox. But if they have a few thousand subscribers, you have a better chance.
The next thing to check is their follower ratios. Do they have more followers of their preferred sex or not? If the followers are a bit unbalanced, that’s okay. There is (yet) nothing to stress about.
Once you’ve seen their list of followers, look at the people THEY follow, and if there’s a distinct preferential gender, RUN! There’s no way they’re all friends and helping each other on Instagram, trust me. The chances of your crush being a gamer are high, so recognize the red flag and walk away.
4. Use a pick-up line
When it comes to pickup lines, the norm is for men to use them on women. It is not normal for women to use them on men, or even for men to use them on men!
A pickup line is an icebreaker/conversation starter used to get someone to like or date someone. Pickup lines can range from the sweet, cheesy lines to the raunchy pickup lines of Will Smith from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
If you’re a bit shy, I would suggest using a soft line like:
- Are you a keyboard? Because you are my type.
- I hope you know CPR. Because you just took my breath away.
- Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
- I know someone who is madly in love with you. If I weren’t shy, I would tell you.
- Are you angle less than 90 degrees? Because you are acute-y.
- Random person #67 sliding into your DMs. How’s your week going from waking up to finding your phone hasn’t charged on both sides of your cold pillow?
And if you’re brave enough to use a few hot lines on your crush, go for it! It can be a fun way to show off your fearless personality, and these lines are sure to catch the eye of your future lover as they are bold and risque.
A few pick-up lines include:
- No idea if we’d get along, but I just had to swipe because (something you liked in their profile)
- You look really familiar. Have we met? Oh, I’m sorry, I guess it’s because you look like my next half.
- What should I wear to our date tomorrow?
- My parents always said I should follow my dreams. That’s why I started following you on Instagram.
PS: Recently, Tiktok has been exploding with videos of people trying out (and working on) smooth pickup lines. So if you need more inspiration, check it out!
5. Respond to their story
This works best if you are already following each other. You wait for them to post a story that you can relate to in some way – a song you like, a bar he/she is at that you’ve been to before, a question or a poll – and use that as a starting point for a conversation. We tend to be attracted to people who share our interests, so you are guaranteed a response.
Let’s say they posted a screenshot of J Cole’s latest album, The Off-Season. This screenshot has you swiping up and responding with, “If I’m being honest, I preferred Born Sinner (or any other album).”
This comment will lead to one of two cases: either you get into a heated argument about why The Off-Season was so much better/worse, or they agree with you. But anyway, you caught their attention.
6. Take note of their interests
Whether the person you love loves Billie Eilish, hiking, or art, all you have to do is bring up their passions, and you’re bound to start the conversation.
Exhibit A: You like a guy named Connor. You’ve stalked her Insta account online and noticed it’s full of pictures of cute puppies and sandy beaches. Boom! You just landed a one-way ticket to Connor’s heart and found an interest in working.
Exhibit B: You like a girl named Leah who loves art and reads novels in cafes. Whether you slip into her DMs to ask her for a book/coffee recommendation, you’re guaranteed a response to your DM because you made an effort to ask a question that relates to something she likes.
7. Compliment them
No one can resist a compliment, and this is scientifically proven. When you praise someone, there’s a surge of dopamine that makes that person feel good. Maybe the person you’re crushing on is good at painting, or their piano playing is just perfect. So give their ego a shot and compliment them.
Another tip is that people respond better to sincere compliments rather than an empty “you look sexy” comment, so try to avoid remarks related to appearance. For the most part, our appearance is down to genetics; we didn’t make a lot of effort to reach them. However, practicing an instrument for three hours a day is no small feat and something to be proud of and appreciate!
8. Be straightforward
As they say, the best way to rip off a bandage is quickly. So once you’ve captured your potential lover’s interest, be honest with them. Tell them you think they’re hot, but don’t put too much pressure on them to reciprocate. They’ll let you know if they feel it!
You shouldn’t expect failure, but neither should you expect the best-case scenario. So if it doesn’t work, you won’t be too disappointed, but you’ll also be pleasantly surprised if it does. All that matters is that you take the leap of faith!
article and good glide!