Having a crush is part of being human because we are created to give and receive love. The crush can get messy as you try to talk yourself out of feelings you already have for the other person. Relax! Who hasn’t been there? Staying up all night and fantasizing about having a family together, every conversation revolves around the person and the worst part is listening to love songs and crying yourself to sleep. I just want to assure you that you are not alone and that you can get over this too. Nonetheless, overcoming a crush takes discipline and your decision to listen to part of the truth. here are 6 not at obtain more a to crush.
1. STOP TRIPPIN
Stop making sense of everything he or she does. Just because you like the same sports, the same food, the same music and constantly bump into each other doesn’t mean you’re kindred spirits. There are over 7 billion people on this planet and it is possible that there are other people who would also like what you do. Don’t get carried away with a wink or a note with a simple affectionate word like “hey honey, “hey girl” or “hey boo” shouldn’t give you sleepless nights because countless people have received such kind words. You are certainly not the first.
mother no one
Stop trying to be unnecessarily nice when you don’t have to. Please, just because your lover asks you for help with homework doesn’t mean you have to be displeased to please the person, especially when you have other plans. When you don’t know your worth, people take advantage of your kindness.
2. LEARN MORE
Most people always like to show off when they are with other people or on social media. You really don’t know what’s going on in their personal life. In Nigeria, we call it ‘packaging’. No need to dream for long hours about your crush if you haven’t taken the time to talk to him. Go talk to your crush. Take the time to get to know this person. Ask intelligent questions about their values regarding life, family, goals and not about their relationship status.
According to a report by Carolyn Steber for Bustle Digital Group “Developing a crush on someone often happens with people you’re still getting to know – and don’t like yet – but that’s part of what makes it so “Our brain has a stimulus (the person) that’s different from our everyday experience — and that novelty keeps us engaged,” clinical psychologist Josh Klapow, PhD, tells Bustle.
Listen to find out if your values align. Is this the kind of person you would want to be friends with for a long time to begin with? Have you closely observed how he or she treats others? Because your relationship will be no different. You would be shocked by what you find. I hope you have your own values? Compromising them to meet what a crush wants means selling yourself short.
3. KEEP MOVING
Say these words: “My world does not revolve around (say the person’s name). Start with that task you’ve been putting on hold for too long. Exercise, collaborate with other like-minded people. Don’t tell. me “I can’t!” My question for you is this: didn’t you have a life before you met your crush? He or she is over there doing something amazing while you are looking at pictures. Wake up !
Don’t hang around people who constantly remind you of your crush. Stay away from romantic comedies, sad love songs and friendships with your lover’s friends and loved ones just to get family approval.
4. DRESS MODERATELY
Believe it or not, people quickly notice when you change your wardrobe. Changing your cologne and wardrobe for a new crush won’t get you anywhere because it’s just a phase. It’s okay to look good, but it gets bad when you’re doing it for someone other than yourself. With a new wardrobe comes a change in behavior, and if the other person realizes that everything you did was for them, your emotions will be at risk. You would always want a compliment on what you wear and if you don’t get it you will be angry.
Jealousy won’t work
Trying to make your crush jealous is bad news. You only give them the power to harm you. Take charge because he or she can’t lose what doesn’t belong to them in the first place.
5. STOP OBSESSING
Don’t go fishing in their social media accounts looking for who your competitor is. Stop ghost texting. Block your crush from your social media handle to limit any form of notifications. I know sometimes we often find excuses not to block our crush and we unblock.
Talk to someone you trust. Someone who has been through the crush phase. Listen and don’t interrupt. In middle school, I once had a crush on a cute guy in church. I thought God was telling me he was my soul mate. After telling my best friend about all the attempts I had made to get him to notice me. She told me to wake up and face the reality that I am only embarrassing myself. It was true because this guy was at my next door neighbor. He met her through me (long story) and he was already bringing her gifts before my eyes.
Now that you know it was just an infatuation, take the time to grieve and forgive yourself. It may sound weird, but your brain processed the crush you had as a real relationship. This is how the human brain works. Don’t be like “huh, it’s nothing”. Also, don’t jump into a new relationship to make up for what you think you’ve lost. It was only a phase and that too will pass.