How to make long distance work if you just started dating

Relationships can be exciting when we’re with the right person. Any good relationship has the ability to thrive regardless of distance or closeness. A lot of negativity has been attached to a long distance relationship. Some people think that trust can only be established when partners are nearby all the time. This is just a myth, because every relationship requires work from both partners.

A relationship is like a financial institution when you invest in it, you will enjoy the dividends of that relationship regardless of the distance. So put your fears aside especially if you have just started a long distance relationship because there are just as many breakups with couples living in the same city and those who are also apart.

8 Easy Steps to Great LDR

Here are some important steps towards a lasting long distance relationship:

1. Let someone in

Some people don’t like to talk about it, but it’s important that your loved ones or someone you trust be involved in the relationship from the start. Are both parents aware of this relationship? Or is there someone in your life that you confide in the details of the relationship? Now is not the time to keep anything a secret, because your safety is just as important as the relationship is to you.

How did you meet each-other ?

Is he or she just some random person you met at the mall and you don’t know anything about their background. Do you know any friends and how sincere are they about your partner’s behavior? You’ve probably heard of ghosting. Where two people started a relationship but after a while one of the partners disappears. You need people to cheer you on when things get crazy and emotions are all over the place. You need someone who can call you both to order, especially when you both decide not to talk to each other. Any relationship that makes you too scared to open up is a red flag. Now that everything is settled, here’s how to thrive.

2. Communicate

“Distance doesn’t separate people the silence made by I f hodd. I know there are people who don’t like to talk too long because they are introverted, but communication is the foundation of any relationship. You need to get to work and talk to yourself. Thanks to social media and technology, we can do a lot of things.

Choose a time

If you’re going to different time zones, pick a time that works for you both and how many times a week would be convenient to talk to each other if you both have busy lives. It gives you both something to look forward to. You can take your partner with you throughout your work day using Face Time. It is also important to know that texting does not solve all problems. Much of what your partner might mean can be misinterpreted in a text message, especially in a conflict. Try not to go through difficult seasons using SMS. Verbal communication with your loved ones works better.

3. Get engaged

You both decided to be in this relationship in the first place, it is important that you both decide to be faithful to each other. No need to sneak around trying to double date because the word is spreading. You both need to be willing to give your 100% to the relationship. Shouldn’t it be one-sided, as it could lead to frustration and trust issues? If you both care about each other, neither of you should be caught breaking trust. Trust is giving your heart to someone and hoping the other person doesn’t break it, even if they can.

4. Have fun

What! Yes, distract yourself. Both of you should have other daily activities, in addition to thinking about each other all day and waiting for the phone to ring.

Enjoy

Do you have any other friends you would like to hang out with? Focus on your development, participate in something you are truly passionate about. It’s a bad idea to participate in an activity you don’t like, and you only do it because your partner likes it. It’s an impending disaster! Do something with your time that you enjoy and that isn’t a waste of time and energy. There will be times when your partner may not feel like talking at all and that’s okay because they also have a life to live. Live your lives and share them with each other. Do you know the quote “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop”. When you are inactive, many unwanted thoughts and suspicions about your partner arise in your mind.

5. Stay in the moment

Both of you should discuss issues that are based on timing. Talk about what you are feeling right now and resolve it. Don’t push issues under the rug. I like what Sarah Jakes Roberts, a renowned author, said, instead of just asking people “how are you?” ask them ‘how is your heart?’ Such a question allows you both to dig deeper into the root of their thoughts. A gift card doesn’t solve all problems, especially when your reason for giving a gift is to avoid confrontation and get away from the real problem.

6. Build Trust

Give yourself a lot of assurances about the relationship. Let your partner know that you’re in for the long haul and that distance is never a barrier. There should always be words of affirmation about the relationship between you two.

7. Plan dates together

Plan dates and it doesn’t have to be anything expensive, but if you can afford it, you can plan a trip together. Plan trips to go somewhere you both have always wanted to visit. As I said earlier, let your family members or loved ones know where you both are going to be for safety reasons. You can also plan to watch a movie together online, play games online. There should be something you both enjoy doing together.

Give

You can also surprise each other with gifts or notes depending on what the other partner likes. Gifts shouldn’t be something you need to go broke for. You can shop together online if you’re struggling to decide which gift to give. There’s no point in surprising yourself with something you never liked. No pretension!

8. Have a goal

What is the end game of the relationship? It’s something you both need to think about. Are you just dating for fun or do you both have plans for the future? There must be something you both are looking forward to. You both need to clarify each other’s expectations. Just to make sure you’re both on the same page.