This is after the last text has been read through, at least twice before you finally decide to leave.
Saying goodbye, however, comes a little, if not a lot, later. I hate to talk about it, and so does the next red-blooded human, but here we are in another conversation about grief and moving on.
Grab your tissues, your favorite snacks (because food can be therapeutic), the best set of wireless headphones, and an awesome playlist. We travel through the stages of heartbreak today. Note: The steps are not always felt in this exact order and have many variations.
Step 1: Realize it’s over
It doesn’t matter what happened – someone cheating, not enough attention, domestic issues, etc. – something in your brain clicks to tell you that the relationship is officially over. Everything that was had with your ex is gone and cannot be recreated. This usually happens before or after the breakup or separation. Performing at the same time is rare, but again, experiences vary.
Step 2: Deal with what just happened
It’s when your ex is out of your life that your brain can process all the events that led to the dramatic fallout. This is done in phases. At first, you may ignore certain details for fear of facing the truth about your ex and yourself.
However, time will help you come to terms with your flaws as well as the flaws in your relationship with them. As a growing individual, you’ll be able to accept that what you thought about the person didn’t mean you were meant to be with them. you wanted.
Stage 3: Emotional Turbulence (Get yourself a Wawa)
Throughout treatment is when the roller coaster of feelings hits you. It can occur at any time and in any place. It could happen while you’re in that Sleeping Beauty type of sleep. The thing is, don’t be surprised if you react emotionally to what happened.
If you’re angry and want to hurt something, use a pillow or a punching bag. If you are feeling intense sadness, Wawa sandwiches and cookies are highly recommended. Anything you can do that is healthy for your body and mind is encouraged.
Your heart has just been shattered into a billion pieces after investing much if not everything you are in this person and your relationship with them. Dealing with heartbreak is a type of grief that depends on your investment in what you shared with your ex. Please remember this when allowing feelings to arise.
Step 4: Temptation with the rabbit hole
It’s about when you haven’t been in touch with your ex for a while. You cried for the past relationship. You’ve watched a lot of drama/romance/action movies. New friends, hobbies, and a few rants later, you’re a much improved version of yourself. And it’s around this time that the temptation of the rabbit hole comes to play.
In other words, you had blocked them on everything but never deleted their number. Signals in your brain tell you that a text, a gif, a conversation won’t hurt. These voices tell you that you can get involved without the cycle repeating itself.
Sad to say, it will repeat itself if you and the person didn’t grow up during the separation. Yes, you are held responsible as well as your ex. If you haven’t healed well and made peace with what happened, let alone improved in your qualities, going back there is THE worst thing you can do.
The same goes for your ex. So before you even think about hitting their handle and typing that message, ask yourself, “Will talking to them hinder my growth?” and “If not, is it still worth it?” Only you know the answers to these questions.
Step 5: Moving forward
Fighting the rabbit hole temptation is an everyday battle. The more you take authority and say no, the easier it becomes. It becomes less of a battle and more of a lifestyle, something you don’t have to think about. ‘
Texting them will become the second, third, and last thing you think you’ll do with your free time. Plus, you’ll see how successful you are when your mind is focused on goals and ambitions rather than what your ex is doing.
It is a transfer of energy; what you nurture is what grows in your life. Once you have successfully transferred your energy from something that sucked the life out of you to something that nourish you with lifethe difference will be felt almost instantly.
Step 6 (optional): Be friends
I say optional with as much emphasis as possible. You don’t have to be friends or even say hello to your ex. In many cases, they don’t deserve a modicum of friendship from anyone. In other cases, however, there is a possibility of being friendly, and that is only when both parties are really willing. This is why the moment of separation is so important.
Both people need to work on themselves before they face each other and the fallout of their actions. If you’re both mature enough for a platonic friendship, great. If either of you disagrees, that’s fine too.
Moving forward does not mean taking everyone with you. Completing chapters often means leaving people in them. The choice is yours. And if you’re in a place where you trust yourself, love yourself, and are emotionally and physically empowered, you’ll know what’s right for you.
Let this guide be your starting point. Take it from here, and know you’ll be more than fine. The best and happiest people are those who have been through the worst. So basically it sets you up for your best life story yet. * By the way, this is the face you will make when you see your blessings passing. 🙂