It’s okay to be selfish with the people you surround yourself with

Our friends are the people we choose to spend our lives with, those with whom we celebrate our victories, to whom we tell our darkest secrets. Friends are one of the most influential people in our lives and can strongly influence our decisions. Naturally, we want to please our friends and be as accommodating as possible.

As humans, we are social creatures who crave emotional connection. However, sometimes we can get carried away with the desire to please others and want to fit in with everyone. Society has taught us to think that having lots of friends is ideal, but you rarely hear how emotionally and mentally draining it can be to entertain everyone who crosses your path. While some friends can be uplifting and encouraging, some can be very negative and demeaning. Here are some signs that it might be time to cut your friend off.

1.They are unreliable.

We all have that friend who never goes to an event, even if he promised to. They are rarely able to keep their word. They always promise to do something but back out at the last minute. Their actions often seem inconsistent. They always seem to let you down. While it may not be intentional, it’s still something that can make you feel underappreciated, undervalued, and sometimes ignored.

Although it’s normal for people to get caught up in their lives and not always be there when you need them. It becomes a character trait when it comes to a common event. If you’ve tried to answer them a few times and your friend is indifferent and dismissive of your concerns, then maybe it’s time to start distancing yourself. While you shouldn’t expect your friends to be at your complete disposal, having reliable friends is not only a time saver, but is also essential to having a healthy friendship where both individuals are equally valued and seen.

2.They are competitive with you.

Friends who compete with you are friends who always do things just to outdo you. They see your accomplishments as competition. They constantly want to outdo you and make you feel small. Such friends are insecure in themselves and always feel the need to upstage others because they feel threatened. Healthy competition is vital for a healthy friendship where both individuals motivate each other to do better. However, it becomes unhealthy when you are constantly competing with each other.

3. They are self-centered.

Whenever you’re around them, they always seem to be doing things about them. Even when you celebrate your accomplishments, they find a way to recognize themselves and get noticed. They always seem to find a way to diminish your accomplishments and make you feel like you’re not enough. Although self-love is a personal journey, it’s important to have people around you who truly care about you and have your best interests at heart.

4.They are negative.

If your friend almost never has anything good to say about anything, you may need to reconsider this friendship. While excessive positivity is toxic, friends who rarely see the good in things are exhausting. They’re the kind of friends you always end up apologizing for when you go out and say, “she’s just not herself today” or he just had a rough day. your parade behavior,” it’s probably time to sit down and have a serious discussion with them about how their attitude is affecting you. Sometimes their Debby Downer attitude can only be directed at you. Either way, it’s something that needs to be addressed.

5.They are talkative.

Have you ever noticed that the only time you hang around is when they want to tell you the latest gossip? Despite the old age saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, they still seem to care who does what. According to, gossip refers to gossip or rumors, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. It may often seem harmless, but the damage caused is irreversible.

People who gossip tend to be insecure and seek acceptance. Gossip isn’t just a waste of time, it can also ruin your reputation and make you untrustworthy. If your friend always tells you about someone else, what makes you think he doesn’t tell someone else about you?

Who you surround yourself with often affects how you see and live your life, although we may not even realize it. It’s important to know what people compliment you and your lifestyle, what you will and won’t tolerate. While most toxic people can be exhausting, aligning yourself with positive and uplifting people can completely change your outlook on life.